Thursday, December 16, 2010

Jeff Foxworthy on Living in Washington

Yep, Jeff nails it on this one. I'm guilty on every one, I think!

"If you live in Washington"
  1. If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you live in Washington.
  2. If you've worn shorts, sandals and a parka at the same time, you live in Washington.
  3. If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed the wrong number, you live in Washington.
  4. If you measure distance in hours, you live in Washington.
  5. If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you live in Washington.
  6. If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' and back again in the same day, you live in Washington.
  7. If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in Central, Southern or Eastern Washington.
  8. If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over 2 layers of clothes or under a raincoat, you live in Washington.
  9. If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow and ice, you live in Washington.
  10. If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction, you live in Washington.
  11. If you feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash, you live in Washington.
  12. If you know more than 10 ways to order coffee, you live in Washington.
  13. If you know more people who own boats than air conditioners, you live in Washington.
  14. If you stand on a deserted corner in the rain waiting for the "Walk" signal, you live in Washington.
  15. If you consider that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted, it is not a real mountain, you live in Washington.
  16. If you can taste the difference between Starbucks, Seattle's Best, and Tullys, you live in Washington.
  17. If you know the difference between Chinook, Coho and Sockeye salmon, you live in Washington.
  18. If you know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup , Abiqua, Issaquah, Snoqualamie, Wenatchee , Spokane , Umpqua, Yakima and Willamette, you live in Washington.
  19. If you consider swimming an indoor sport, you live in Washington.
  20. If you can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese and Thai food, you live in Washington.
  21. If you never go camping without waterproof matches and a poncho, you live in Washington.
  22. If you have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain, you live in Washington.
  23. If you think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or tourists, you live in Washington.
  24. If you buy new sunglasses every year because you cannot find the old ones after such a long time, you live in Washington.
  25. If you actually understand these jokes and forward them to all your Washington friends, you live or have lived in Washington.



At Friday, December 17, 2010 7:37:00 AM, Anonymous Thor said...

I haven't lived in Washington in almost 20 yrs. Sadly, they all still apply.

People in Manhattan just didn't understand why I was standing there waiting for that walk signal.

At Saturday, December 18, 2010 12:07:00 PM, Anonymous Mors said...

lots of that applies to Michigan, and we sorta take pride in driving well over 75 in a lake effect blizzard.

At Monday, June 04, 2012 11:41:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, if you DON'T wait for that walk signal, you might get the crap beaten out of you by a cop! And that's not just for black people---my BF is a white Jewish guy, and he got a flying tackle from a cop for jaywalking! And got arrested on false charges!


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