Jeff Foxworthy on Living in Washington
Yep, Jeff nails it on this one. I'm guilty on every one, I think!
"If you live in Washington"
- If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you live in Washington.
- If you've worn shorts, sandals and a parka at the same time, you live in Washington.
- If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed the wrong number, you live in Washington.
- If you measure distance in hours, you live in Washington.
- If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you live in Washington.
- If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' and back again in the same day, you live in Washington.
- If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in Central, Southern or Eastern Washington.
- If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over 2 layers of clothes or under a raincoat, you live in Washington.
- If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow and ice, you live in Washington.
- If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction, you live in Washington.
- If you feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash, you live in Washington.
- If you know more than 10 ways to order coffee, you live in Washington.
- If you know more people who own boats than air conditioners, you live in Washington.
- If you stand on a deserted corner in the rain waiting for the "Walk" signal, you live in Washington.
- If you consider that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted, it is not a real mountain, you live in Washington.
- If you can taste the difference between Starbucks, Seattle's Best, and Tullys, you live in Washington.
- If you know the difference between Chinook, Coho and Sockeye salmon, you live in Washington.
- If you know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup , Abiqua, Issaquah, Snoqualamie, Wenatchee , Spokane , Umpqua, Yakima and Willamette, you live in Washington.
- If you consider swimming an indoor sport, you live in Washington.
- If you can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese and Thai food, you live in Washington.
- If you never go camping without waterproof matches and a poncho, you live in Washington.
- If you have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain, you live in Washington.
- If you think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or tourists, you live in Washington.
- If you buy new sunglasses every year because you cannot find the old ones after such a long time, you live in Washington.
- If you actually understand these jokes and forward them to all your Washington friends, you live or have lived in Washington.
Labels: Humor
3 Comments:
I haven't lived in Washington in almost 20 yrs. Sadly, they all still apply.
People in Manhattan just didn't understand why I was standing there waiting for that walk signal.
lots of that applies to Michigan, and we sorta take pride in driving well over 75 in a lake effect blizzard.
Hey, if you DON'T wait for that walk signal, you might get the crap beaten out of you by a cop! And that's not just for black people---my BF is a white Jewish guy, and he got a flying tackle from a cop for jaywalking! And got arrested on false charges!
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