Thursday, January 05, 2006

Honk if You Hate Whatever......

(Click for larger image)

It looks like the editorial cartoonist for the South Whidbey Record has now taken on the task of discouraging hunting in Island County, Washington.

Hunting with a rifle is already illegal, even With a .22. You can only hunt with a shotgun, a bow, or black powder. I can't even legally walk over to my neighbor's pasture to shoot a coyote. I have to wait for it to walk onto my property, and even then, I better be able to prove that my livestock was threatened.

The big thing now is to ban duck and pheasant hunting on the public lands and wetlands of the county, hence the great idea of blowing an air horn to scare off the birds, and generally disrupt the proceedings.

I think that's a wonderful idea. From now on, any time you see someone doing something you don't like, go blow an air horn at them.

A picnic on the beach? Don't like it?


Fishing off the end of a dock?
Sneak up behind them and


They might even fall off the dock and drown,
so you may only need to honk them once!

Church services?


Street fairs?


County Political caucuses?


Handgun bowling pin matches?


Bang - bang - bang - bang - bang.............


Sorry about that!



At Thursday, January 05, 2006 4:59:00 PM, Blogger Rivrdog said...

Isn't a freon horn on top of a honker's head about the same size and shape as a bowling pin?

We could call this "pinhead" shooting.

On the more serious side, I'm sure that the island commission has an ordinance against excessive noise. It's probably an arrestable misdemeanor.

The correct tools here are a pistol and a pair of handcuffs. Upon being assaulted by excessive noise, make a citizen's arrest, handcuff the offender for your protection (to a lamp-post is good), and send for the local gendarmes. If you send a confused, sub-moron panhandler after them, you've done your dilligence. Make sure that you warn this citizen that sometimes the cops don't like their donut breaks to be interrupted and they might get nasty. You have to use this slower method of calling out the gendarmes because cell phone service isn't too reliable on the island, and the honker scared away all the homing pigeons. Don't forget to seize the air horn for evidence, and don't be tempted to discharge it into the handcuffed offender's ear.

The pistol is to protect you and your prisoner while the gendarmerie is enroute. Should any friends of the arrested honker arrive and try to set the honker free, they are interfering with your arrest, which act is a felony in WA. Under WA law, felonies may be "stopped" by application of deadly force. Use just enough force to stop. One round between the eyes ought to do it. Don't get excessive and dump the entire clip into the felon. That's excessive, and you might need some rounds for other felons who might be foolish enough to interfere with the arrest of the honker and stop of the attempted escape perp. After "stopping" the attemted escape perp, don't forget to send another citizen for the EMTs. To make sure that this next inebriate stays on task, give them a $20 bill as a reward in advance and make sure to route him/her past the nearest store that sells Thunderbird or Mad Dog. Inform them that since they are now in the service of the State, a refreshment break is not only appropriate, but required.

No charge for advice to citizens of Whidbey Island. I occasionally vacation there and I would prefer that such lawbreaking as the newspaper advises is over and done with by my next visit.

BTW, do you have an email addy for the editrix of the fishwrap? I might just send this in as a letter to the editor.

At Thursday, January 05, 2006 8:49:00 PM, Blogger The Conservative UAW Guy said...


At Thursday, January 05, 2006 11:46:00 PM, Blogger Jerry The Geek said...

Isn't this "Hooter Logic"?

No, I guess not. Unless you're a Brit!


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