Haven't swiped anything off of Countertops' blog in some time, but I had to give in to the temptation for this one.....
A pompous minister was seated next to a hillbilly on a flight across the country. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The hillbilly asked for a whiskey and soda, which was brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the minister if he would like a drink.
He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by brazen whores than let liquor touch these lips."
The hillbilly then handed his drink back to the flight attendant and said, "Shit, me too. I didn't know we got a choice."